Category: beauty

beauty, nostalgia

Dreaming of Door County

Mary Elyn Bahlert

From the time I was little, I loved to go to Door County. I was lucky – my Dad (I called him FRB, a nickname that stuck with the whole family) had grown up in Door County – and I had aunts and uncles, favorite aunts and uncles, who still lived in the quiet country places of the Door Peninsula. I think of Door County as “my place” – the place I belong, the place I’m tied to. In these later years, I’ve still made the trip from California, flying to O’Hare Field and driving North into Wisconsin and further North Still, to the strip of land that is held by Green Bay on the West and Lake Michigan on the East. I tell people now that I know the “quiet” places in Door County, which is true; a favorite tourist destination now, many of the once small, quiet towns are hubs of activity all summer long and on autumn weekends.

I promised myself on a lonely drive alone from my little apartment in Green Bay along the Bay side of the peninsula, turning off at the junction of Highway 57 that follows the shoreline of Lake Michigan through Baileys Harbor and north, to connect again with Highway 42 in Sister Bay – “Sisters Bay,” in my father’s telling. It was 1974. I promised myself then, as I drove north toward the Peninsula, that I’d always return to Door County. I have. I’ve lived clear across the country in Northern California since the 1980’s, but I still return, as often as I can.

This week, Jeff and I were to be “lighthouse keepers” at the historic lighthouse – still in operation – along Highway 57, and now part of The Ridges Sanctuary, a ring of paths through the woods along the ancient, ancient shorelines of the Lake, shorelines where Lake Michigan has lapped ashore for all time. We had studied the written history of the lighthouse, in order to be prepared for whatever tourists might still come to the Peninsula in late October. We’d been ready to tell them about the history of the lighthouse, how it has been in use through many years, sometimes as a parsonage for the Lutheran Pastor at the Lutheran Church a few miles to the North.

I’d worshipped in that church more than once with my beloved Auntie Irene and her “Peggy,” Uncle Erdreich. They were old world people, from another time, Uncle Erdreich having grown up in a farmhouse less than a mile from the frame house surrounded by woods that he had built up over the years, putting his expertise as a carpenter to work in his own house. Auntie Irene, too, was from another time, an extraverted Bahlert, like my Dad, in a family that has its share of introverts. I’m one of them.

And so Jeff and I had prepared for the week in the lighthouse. I planned as I do for any trip: I thought daily about what I’d wear, what I’d need for the changing season we were sure to experience, making sure my long underwear was clean and ready to be packed. We prepared as we do for every trip, making plans for getting to the San Francisco airport for our flight to O’Hare Field, talking about our plans to stay overnight with long time friend, Joanne, and for our plans to spend a few nights in Shorewood with Randy and Michael before our return to California, to our home.

As the poet has written: “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft agley.” (Robert Burns, “To a Mouse, 1785).

And so I’ve had a week – a week completely clear on my careful calendar – fall to me. I’ll be able to make it to my regular exercise class, and I can enjoy my neighborhood walks in these last days of a beautiful autumn in Northern California. Today was a car day: I had the oil changed and I had a car wash for my snazzy Ford Focus.

But I’ll miss my favorite place, the place I’m attached to, the place where I stand at the graves of the ancestors and talk to them. I’ll miss a week of autumn in the Midwest; the Midwest really knows how to do autumn. I’ll miss seeing so many people I love face to face instead of only hearing their voices over the phone.

And I’ll take in autumn here in the Bay Area, its’ own kind of beauty, the changing light, the slow changing colors of the trees in this place.

Autumn sunset, Oakland, photo by Mary Elyn Bahlert, 10/19/2026

beauty, poetry, reflecting

First reading

Mary Elyn Bahlert

I’ve been a reader for many, many – many – years now, of course. And over the course of those years, I have also been a writer. I learned to write by reading the writing of others, I think. Words, and the sentences that hold words together, come easily to me. That particular gift allowed me to be a preacher, also. I loved reading and studying the scriptures, and over the years, I’d developed my own rhythm, a rhythm that formed the outline of my week for many years.

And I have written poetry since the days I watched my teachers carefully, studying their manners and idiosyncrasies carefully. I was a careful child, and I took that care to my studies. I faithfully memorized the poems of the great American poets in Miss Ross’ English class at Peckham Junior High School. Miss Ross gave me a great gift with her old-fashioned manner of teaching. I remember so little about her; she was an old-fashioned teacher who wore a navy blue, old-fashioned dress that was covered in little white dots, a dress that covered her knees, modestly. Was her name really Betsy Ross? I don’t know, although that’s the name I’ve carried with me all these years. I was sure she had her hair done at a beauty parlor every week. That’s how it looked to me, with my trained eye!

Every week, I studied a poet’s life and poems, and over the course of the semester I put together a book of my own, a three ringed folder with poems carefully written in my own hand, and pictures to visually bring the poems to life. I cut the pictures out of the pages of my mother’s women’s magazines. I wish I had those folders now. Those pages of poems were a treasure in my life.

The poems, the lives of the poets, the world that books and reading opened to me have been a priceless gift to my life.

But the poems that I have written and collected – not carefully, but faithfully – have formed the book that my beloved husband, Jeff, encouraged me to have printed. I am a published poet now! That’s an identity I find I will have to grow into. Like the day Jeff’s first published book appeared at our house, he and I sat down and looked over the small printed volume of my own poetry, Moments (Balboa Press, 2026).

And I have survived my first reading! Carefully planned and executed, I read aloud to a group of other humans selected poems from my collection. The room – the Edwards Room at Lake Merritt United Methodist Church, the church where I had retired from as Pastor in 2014 after a 16 year stint (not bad for a Methodist!). There was a gathered group of people, mostly folks I know, a few I did not know. A woman I’d helped with a family matter a few years after my retirement joined the group. The pastor, Sunae, had made sure a flyer had been included in each Sunday’s bulletin.

And so, I am a published poet, and I am a poet who has survived a public reading. I am grateful. A gathering of friends, of beloved folks from many years in my life, colleagues, former parishioners, and even a man I did not know arrived to sit for an hour of poetry reading! So many of my poems, many written on scraps of paper and filed away in a manila file – these many years – were now properly printed and presented for public view. The pastor and a few faithful helpers set out a nice table of simple food for after the reading. A friend brought her dog and generously agreed to handle the selling of the books, of my book, which I signed for the waiting admirers.

And so I expect that a small part of me will have to take on a new – another – identity: published poet. I’m proud that a photo of mine graces the cover. I was delighted to see who showed up to hear me read, some folks I had forgotten would be interested at all.

Now, that day is in the past. I’ve had my collection of poems published – I’m a published poet now – and I’ve had a reading. I’m out there.

beauty

the gift

Mary Elyn Bahlert

Christmas before last, Jeff gifted me a wonderful altar to be hung on the wall of my new office. When my own room in our house was being transformed into a guest room and bath, I had moved to a wonderful, bright room that opened to the dining room. I’m sitting here now, as I write my week’s addition to thewisdomyears.org, enjoying the beautiful, well-lit room. I always sit in a wing back chair, one of two that had been in Jeff’s mother’s living room before she passed. I love my space – “a room of one’s own.”

As I moved from the dark room down the dark hallway from the kitchen, the perfect place to hang the altar I’d received as a gift arrived, along with the larger, bright space. As I write now, I sit in my favorite place, the open window on my right, and the beautiful wooden altar in my view. At the beginning, after the altar had been hung, I took my time finding just the right objects and pictures to sit on its shelves. The ribbons I hung outside to be blessed by St. Brigid hang at the side, a beautiful, colorful origami helmet in a clear box is carefully set on the top shelf. I enjoy the altar, sometimes getting up from my comfortable chair to take something down, to move a small china vase.

*

Last weekend, our nephew Rainier, Lia and Celeste, who is six years old now, in the first grade, visited us on a sunny Sunday afternoon. They have exchanged houses for a few weeks with a couple who has roots in Seattle. We enjoyed a barbecue together, sitting in the early summer yard, lush green this time of year. Lia had brought the last of an apple pie, and Jeff delivered large pieces of pie to each of us, apple pie with a topping of vanilla ice cream. Soon after we’d finished supper, it was time for the family of three to go home; ever since she was an infant, Rainier and Lia have a bedtime ritual, an early bedtime for Celeste. The ritual keeps everyone sane! – and allows for smooth days with busy schedules for the whole family.

And so Lia and Rainier and Jeff and I gathered their belongings and helped them fill their car. Celeste came up to me, her small hand holding two tiny flowers in her fingers. She raised them so that I could see, offering the gift to me. I looked at the gift as I took the flowers into my fingers. “Oh!” I said: “I know exactly where these go!”

Celeste was curious then as we walked into my bright office and stood in front of the beautiful wooden altar. I took a tiny clay vase off a tiny shelf and carefully placed the gift in the vase. “There!” I said: “It’s perfect! Thank you for the gift, Celeste!”

I stood back to admire the addition to my altar. Celeste stood at my side, looking up at the vase that held her gift. Then, she looked at me. She surprised me; she moved to face me and opened her arms and hugged me, her arms fitting around my waist. Then she looked up at me. “Thank you,” I said.

beauty, poetry, reflecting, Uncategorized

“I think that I shall never see

Mary Elyn Bahlert

a poem lovely as a tree…” – Joyce Kilmer

One of the pleasures in my life is the pleasure of having lived in one place for many years. In 1995, Jeff and I moved to Oakland and we have stayed in Oakland, and moved into our 1915 Craftsman Home about 2005. Over those years, Jeff has worked hard to steward a beautiful garden – a garden which we enjoy every day. We have hosted many gatherings and dinners with friends here in the house – often in the garden. I expect those times of hosting have attached us even more to this place. And having lived in one place for so many years, and having seen the seasons – slow and sacred in the Bay Area – pass to us and away again all those years since 2005, I have come to know very well the passage of time in one place.

In the yard of our home are several trees that I see from one of the windows: the listing birch outside the living room, the apple tree whose trunk and branches seem to greet us – bowing – when we sit at the dining room table, the maple that shines into our bedroom window in the autumn.

I have a refrain that I say to myself often about the birch: “I love that tree and that tree loves me”. And if saying it often makes it so, then it is true: that tree loves me. Silently and with grace the tree stands and waits for me as I lounge facing the window with my morning coffee. Silently and with grace the tree has sparked my mind as I sit on the couch, writing a sermon, reading a book from the local library, chatting with Jeff. The tree is a steady and beautiful companion to my life. I’m grateful for the tree.

And if gratitude is a poem, then that tree has sparked whatever poems are resting inside me, waiting for the right time to come out.

And it’s autumn again. The slender maple outside our bedroom window is shining with the light of autumn. And the slender maple is so beautiful: a beautiful, silent, stalwart companion.

My stalwart companion in autumn. photo by Mary Elyn Bahlert, 2024

beauty, poetry, reflecting

The sky in autumn

Mary Elyn Bahlert

The sky, deep, in autumn
rests deeper in the heavens,
deeper as if it has reached a peak,
the peak of color, of light,
deeper as if creator’s brush
has found the darkest color
and presented it to us for our delight.
If we are watching,
if our eyes are open, waiting with great patience,
if we are watching, waiting –
we disappear into the deepness,
we are set free from the troubles of earth,
we fly into the freedom.

Mary Elyn Bahlert, 09/15/2025

Photo by Mary Elyn Bahlert, 11/11/2020