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What You Are

Mary Elyn Bahlert

‘As if the sorrows of this world could overwhelm me now that I realize what we are. I wish everyone could realize this. But there is no way of telling people they are all actually walking around shining like the brightest sun.’ Thomas Merton

FullSizeRenderCalla Lily at dusk – shining like the brightest sun.

[White calla (Zantedeschia aethopica) is the classic variety, with vase-shaped white flowers that rise from a clump of dark green, shiny leaves.]

You are so beautiful, beautiful beyond any beauty you have ever seen, ever will see, or any beauty you can imagine.  And if you are so beautiful, so is every other living creature, every human being, every plant and tree and animal and flower and star and mountain and cloud and drop of rain.  We are all shining like the brightest sun.  We are part of the Great Being.

This is the truth!

For a moment, imagine what the world would be like if we all saw through the dark, shaded barriers of our small egos to the light beyond, the light that is us, the light that is the whole of this creation.  How we would love one another!  How we would reach out to one another with help and hope and compassion!  How different this world, this one world we are given, would be!

We look at one another and at the world, ordinarily, through the lens of our small selves, our ego-selves, the part of us that is harsh and critical and demanding – of ourselves, and then, of others.  What we see “out there” is only a reflection of that wounded, small self we so often identify with.  And so we miss – we actually do not see – the light, the whole person, the little bit of beautiful we each are.

“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.” – Max Ehrmann, 1927.

And that “little bit of beautiful” is all-beauty, all-whole, all-loving, all-kind, all-compassion, all-connected, all, all, all, all, all – complete.  Whole.  Light.  Love.  Truth.  Peace. Hope.  Joy.

As the world seems to become more and more unkind, it is going to take some of us to turn around, turn toward the Light, to let go of our small selves, to identify with our Whole-ness, our True Selves, to change the world.  This doesn’t mean you have to stop doing what you are doing.  Whatever you do is important.  What it does mean, though, is that you will have to stop identifying with your small self, moment by moment, letting-go by letting-go…

This is the true work.  This is the work the world needs us to do.  If you’re too busy doing other things, other important things, then you’re too busy to do this work, this work of letting-go, of dissolving the barriers in yourself that have clouded the Light.

You are shining, like the brightest star!  Yes – you!  Yes – now!  Yes!  Yes! Yes!

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At the Cemetery Gate

Mary Elyn Bahlert

 

marypraying_grande

I stop at the statue of Mary,
white marble dedicated a century ago.                                                                                                           There I pause – something in me turning to devotion at the sight of her –                                                             to behold this stone-cold effigy.
Together, we continue the silence that attached itself to me when I walked among the graves.

From there, I enter the gate, walk into the noisy city.                                                                                A dark-skinned post-man steps down from his truck,                                                                       sees her, too.

He genuflects, ancient devotion repeated for this stone-cold effigy.

meb, 2/1015

 

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Shining Through

Mary Elyn Bahlert

This past week, I hiked with two other folks to Chimney Rock, from Ghost Ranch, NM in the desert north of Santa Fe. It was late afternoon, and as we walked, we moved from sun-sparked paths to shadowy places where the ground was covered with a layer of snow and ice, the dark side of the mountain that does not see the sun.

From time to time, we stopped to drink water at this altitude – over 6,000 feet – to stay hydrated and to chat about our rising view. It’s funny how close things look, and how far you have to hike to make it to the top. I didn’t know my companions well; we told stories about our lives as we walked. It’s good to have good companions on the journey.

Near the top, I stopped to take the picture that accompanies this post. I have an eye for seeing things that don’t seem to go together, but do go together. I suppose that’s also useful in life, because sometimes the strangest things actually work together! Still, when I stopped to take this photo, I couldn’t see what I was trying to capture, with the sun reflecting on the lens.

Even so, here it is!

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In the background, you see Chimney Rock, the object of our afternoon hike. In the foreground, you see the tree that has suffered from several years of drought in these Western States.

These days, I often reflect on how a long journey has led to this place in life, and how, as often as life has seemed a struggle, the journey has led me back to the place where I began: my true self, my true being, me being myself, all the while struggling to be myself.

It’s true for all of us. What we present to the world is often such a brittle piece of ourselves, a dried-out self, trying too hard to be good, to be nice, to fit in, to be what we think is expected of us. Or we present a fearful self, exposed to the elements from the time we were young, pushed into a shape that does not suit us, a shape that is in the minds of others, but isn’t who we really are. We think we are our accomplishments, or our goodness, or our strongly held beliefs or preoccupations.

We are so much more. We are so much more real. We are so much bigger and stronger and full of beauty and strength and glory. We’re made of so much more, more power and light.

All the while we are offering our smaller selves, our larger self – our True Self – is there, all the time, shaped by larger things, by wind and rain and experience and light, the goal that is not the goal, the One, the Only One, the one we are seeking and cannot seek, the One who shapes us, the One we have always been.

 

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The Practice of Gratitude

Mary Elyn Bahlert

wallpaper_storm_animaatjes-24

The practice of gratitude is a powerful, profound spiritual practice.
Often, gratitude is not offered in this deep way.

It’s easy to be grateful, to give thanks to The Powers, when things are good.  It’s easy to give thanks when you get the job, when the wound heals, when your kid gets into the school you wanted, when life feels abundant, when you are happy.

It’s another thing, entirely, to give thanks when life is not giving you what you want.  Then, the true practice of gratitude kicks in.

Corrie ten Boom writes of her years in a concentration camp during World War II.  During those years, she survived by being grateful.  How does a human being survive the most dire, the most hopeless,  of all of life experience by being grateful?

“Be joyful always, pray at all times, give thanks in all circumstances…”

The deep practice of gratitude comes from the deep knowing that you, your small self, your ego, your desires and plans, are not in your control.  The deep practice of gratitude comes from the wisdom that there may be some power at work – something outside your ability to understand or to know – in the very circumstances you are given, whatever they may be.

A long time ago, I visited a woman, then in her 90’s, who was hospitalized for a grave illness.  Surely she would not leave the hospital to go home again.  When I walked into the room and walked toward her bed, I saw her back turned to me.  When I walked around the bed to let her know that I was there to see her, she turned toward me and said:  “I was counting my blessings.”

“Give thanks in all circumstances…”

I’m not suggesting that this is easy.  The spiritual path, that deeper journey, is not easy.  It takes work.  It takes surrender.  The spiritual path may ask that you surrender your most heart-felt desire to What Is.  We all know this is not easy.  This is hard work.  This is the real work of life, whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever circumstances you may find yourself in at this moment.

This work involves your facing your feelings, and giving thanks, even for those difficult and even painful feelings.  This work involves saying “Yes!” to life, whatever life brings.  This life involves staying with what is happening – inside of you as well as outside of you – and knowing this is what you are given, this is a gift, this moment, this life.

So often we have been promised a spiritual path that is no more than positive thinking.  We want to believe the suggestion that if only we believe this or that, if only we think the right way, or that if we think positively, our lives will change, we will be different.  That approach avoids the work of surrender, of gratitude, come what may.  That promise points to an easy grace, a grace that does not exist.

Without facing into the storm, you will not exit the storm.  This is truth, this is wisdom.

“For all that has been – thanks.  For all that shall be – Yes.”  – Dag Hammarskjold, Markings